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Just Another Squirrel, Trying to Get a Nut

Location: Irish Brew Pub, with a Club atmosphere

Granted, maybe this isn’t the first place you’d think of to try out your game. There aren’t going to be many overly dressed up, fake-ID toting free-throws seeking approval in the form of a hook-up in a darkly lit hell-hole slinging around Guinness and Bass like water. No, your basic pub is going to attract women less concerned with outward appearance and who don’t mind the few extra calories from a stout beer. Their jeans are probably a little more loosely fit and worn than yours are. Their bar seats are pointed directly towards the taps, and they could care less of you trying to make eye contact with them.

Target: Taller straight dirty blonde with an athletic frame, and her friend, shorter curly light blonde with a petite frame. Both in tight jeans and well made-up, jackpot.

Sometimes, you just luck out. I scoured the room from front to back and told myself there was little hope with the current playing field. So, I sat back and found a spot on the wall with my wingman to try and enjoy the band. Then, out of nowhere, close enough to the front of the house that I didn’t notice her on the way in; I caught eyes with a decent prospect. Actually, after a couple more looks my way, I realized she’s a great prospect. So, I turned to my friend, who was out-of-it drunk, and conclude this was to be a one man entry.

Strategy: ‘Another Drink?’

Blonde At Bar This one is a classic. It’s very difficult to go wrong with trying to be gentlemanly. I finished my drink right about the time her friend got up to go to the bathroom and moved into the spot she left behind at the bar, conveniently located next to the target. I set down your empty beer and calmly glanced over to the blonde I had been making eyes with from across the room all night. She smiled; I look at her beer, and then back at her,

“looks like your almost done there, can I buy you another round?”

“Sure,” she says, and I was in.

I got the conversation going with the usual banter, ‘are you from around here,’ ‘what do you do?’ etc. Her friend eventually comes back from the bar and I introduce myself and buy her a drink, too. Things were looking good, so I signal over the wingman. He comes in and does a good job of picking off the petite blonde, so I can keep working on the taller one. Soon, he runs out of beer and leans forward to buy himself one and we end up switching. Problem here was, I was more attracted to the taller blonde, but hit it off better with the shorter one. The case was vice-versa for the wingman. Nevertheless we get through a few rounds with them and they get up to go to the bathroom, together of course. On the way back, a group of frat boys move in and try to make their move, these being the most attractive and obviously single girls at the bar. The petite blonde gives a ‘please help’ look to me and I try to pry the drunken fratty away without being confrontational. There had to have been thirty of them all there together, I didn’t like my odds. Finally, they both get away and invite us to another bar where they are going to meet some more friends.

“Sounds Great, see you there.”

Lesson Learned: Rule #1- Always Take the Phone Number. Period.

We give it a little time and make our way over to the other bar, where we make eye contact again with the targets, get a couple of drinks and go to join some of our own friends over near the pool table. The key play here was waiting for them to come to us. We were invited, but they had to make the next effort if this was actually going anywhere. Eventually, they did come over and we all chatted some more with ‘later-on, post last-call,’ ideas going up in the air. They told us they were going to go talk to their friends and find out what they were doing. Some short time later, last call had past and I went to close out my tab. Coming back, the girls were walking out the door with their friends and I and my wingman were headed out behind them. They gave us eye contact to come over and talk some more in the parking lot, but the wingman turned away, towards our car.

“Don’t you want to go talk to them?” I asked.

“Nah, they’re going with those guys, their friends, your girl offered me her number, but I didn’t take it since they had plans with them,” was his answer. I froze, stunned by what I though I had just heard.

“You didn’t take her number?”

“No, they have plans,” he said.

“You can’t be serious.”

“What?” he said, drunk and worthless.

“Look,” I said, still frozen.

“If you and I are ever going to go out again, ever, you have to understand that you always take the phone number. Always try to get the phone number, no matter what. We could have easily gotten a date with either one of them some other night.”

“Alright, sorry let’s go.” he said.

“No, I don’t think you understand how serious this is. I am debating ever even talking to you again, they were hot, both of them,” I explained.

“Fine, Rule Number One, always get the phone number. I got it, can we go home now?”

He apparently was grasping the situation. I though, was left baffled and empty handed, four rounds shorter than necessary to be in the same situation.

Home it was, alone.

Generally Good Time Score : 5/10
Phone Number : No
Hook-up : No