Threesomes The Triple Play
By Mizz Notty
Gina was a writer for a now defunct magazine. I had read one of her columns over a year ago and was impressed that she had pretty much admitted in print that she and her boyfriend used to indulge in the triple play.
We were introduced at a party recently and I immediately set to work on her for one of my ‘panel meetings’ on this very topic. Last month, we finally met up. I had to apologized profusely to Gina about my inability to get anyone else to come along for the discussion. To my surprise and gratitude, she told me not to worry, she would bring ‘a friend’ of her own. She brought with her one of the cutest actors in town! Brad.
The three of us relaxed with a bottle of vodka. “Are you guys together?” I asked, feeling terrible plebeian and square compared to their obvious bohemianism. Well, of course not. If they were, they would not have come together to talk about threesomes, even with the guarantee of anonymity.
To start off, Gina, goes on to explain the difference between a threesome - which means sex, usually once-off, between three people at the same time, and a menage a trois - which means a ‘household of three’, a long-term liaison or living arrangement comprising of three persons in sexual relationship. Think Henry Miller, his wife June and Anais Nin.
Gina drew deeply on her cigarette. “I am polyamourous,” she announced and proceeded to tell us about her 5 year relationship with a Duct man which for two and a half years included an English girl.
“We had very long talks and mutually made the decision to establish a 3 person relationship. We even consulted a counsellor about it, and we were told that the long-term success rate is about the same as that of couples, meaning 50%.”
He also warned us about the drawbacks. “When the relationship fails, the threesomeness of it is blamed, even if it isn’t the real reason. Menages a trois happen usually because the people involved feel pretty secure about themselves but they still face challenges as well, like the lack of role models and social support. We live in a very hetero-couple world.”
In her case, she said that the three way relationship ended because the English girl, then at 35, the eldest in the menage, started to talk about commitment ceremonies and having children. “We were all living outside our home country then. The things she wanted opened a whole new can of worms. I started to ask myself, how would I bring her and the boyfriend and the baby to a reunion dinner back here?” The English girl left, and the pair separated less than six months later when Gina was head hunted back to New York.
Brad had been coerced over the indomitable Gina to provide the guy perspective which, as a writer, she knew I would need to balance her erudite perspective. The first thing he said was “I also want to get something straight. Me. I’, straight!”
As a ‘celebrity’ around town, and being terribly cute, he has had more than his fair share of offers from both men and women, sometimes together. “I’m not saying everybody does group sex, but it happens often enough, and it happens in all kinds of combinations and situations.” The most common, he says, are a couple in a relationship extending the invitation to another man or woman.
In a MMF equation, he has been both the guy in the relationship and the outsider. He has gone on ‘dates’ with the same girl as his buddy, and then taken turns with her, sometimes while the other watched, sometimes simultaneously. With the other guy, Brad admits he has gone as far as fondling, and even a little playful oral, “but like I said, I’m straight. No male-to-male penetration at all, ever.”
Ia a FFM situation, Brad is even more experienced. “Sleeping with two women or watching two women make out is every man’s fantasy…well, almost. But let me tell you something from a personal experience - it’s never going to be as enjoyable as you imagine, especially the first time. The first few times are always disappointing, sometimes problematic. Threesomes are a lot of work!”
Over the years however, Brad has come up with a few guidelines for himself. “Threesomes are not like regular sex. Threesomes need imagination and sensitivity to make sure everyone feels good - during the thing and afterwards! If you’re thinking about having a threesome, you better have some idea of what you’re going to be doing.”
“If you’re going to have sex with two women, understanding and respecting each other’s comfort levels should be a top priority. If your own partner is involved, you need to be absolutely clear on what she is comfortable with - in advance!”
Also remember that while your fantasy script runs along the lines of the two women giving you 100% of their attention, realistically they might want to please each other as well. “You might end up feeling ignored. If that happens, just keep busy and take matters into your own hands. Be helpful. Be patient. In threesomes, it’s kind of like a cycle of attention, and will get back to you eventually.”
Penetration, he says, is about you and one woman. Make sure both of them are comfortable with it before you do it with either one. Always remember there are three of you. “Even if I am done first, I still do everything I can to make sure the two ladies are satisfied. I believe everyone should be happy with the threesome experience. I don’t play favorites with orgasms, even if one of them is my girlfriend.”
Keep in mind that most people try to drink their way to bravery for a threesome but drunken sex usually turns out badly.
His last piece of advice is cautionary - play safe. Condoms are an obvious necessity, but it takes a pro like Brad to advise, when dealing with assorted insertions,”always use one hand to pleasure one woman, and use the other hand on the other woman. Don’t alternate. Same thing with penetration, use different condoms!”
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Three ways are great! And can be made more interesting with things like chastity play, ie. one member can participate but not penetrate… until they are given permission. Give it a try.