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The Other Side Of The Bed - Part 3

Phase 5: The Verge

All is according to plan. She’s on the verge of orgasm.

What does it feel like? For her, the pre-orgasm sensation is otherworldly, ethereal. No wonder it’s often called peaking. I’ve heard it described as ‘teetering on the brink before falling off the edge’.

Everyone agrees it’s the best part of sex. But just because a woman reaches the edge doesn’t mean she’s going to have an orgasm. Unlike guys, women don’t experience the unrelenting, inevitable line drive toward orgasm.

Not only did every woman surveyed say she occasionally makes a dirty mental movie to cross the line, but there have been cases in which a mental movie was all a woman needed.

What ruins it for women is the pressure to have one. If you have this expectant look, or she feels like you’re doing something for her and not because you like it, any shot of climaxing flies out the window. To avoid that, concentrate on your own pleasure, and make sure she knows how good it feels to be inside her.

Of course there are times we’d just as soon forget the whole thing. When your partner says it’s okay not to have an orgasm once in a while, she means it. If you really want to up her odds, invest in that magic wand, the vibrator.

Phase 6: Climax

The most important thing to know about a woman’s orgasm is this: If she screams during the middle of it, she’s faking.

Here’s why: While climaxing, it’s nearly impossible to exhale. The female orgasm is not an explosion of endorphins and genital juices. It’s an implosion. She’ll draw her breath, tighten her muscles, suck every scrap of energy and sensation into the tiny nut core of her being and then give way exquisitely, the flow of goodness spreading up her chest and down her legs. Afterward, she might sigh or moan. But a scream? Never.

Phase 7: The Afterglow

This may be where you find the most variation in style. Although what women experience physically after orgasm is the same across the board - the genitals return to their normal state, and breathing and heart rates slow to normal - emotionally and psychologically no two women are alike. Some feel huggy and affectionate, others want to talk about life, others just wonder what’s on TV.

The best advice? Seal the emotional bond with a kiss, a compliment, a final squeeze. By the time you’re in your postcoital snooze, she’ll still be happily awake, thinking of you as the guy who really made a connection. And that means she’ll be eager to hook up again soon.